Angel's Joy

2012-01-28T01:14:00.001+08:00

now i know why ppl dont bring their bf along when they go clubbing/drinking.. hehe =p

50 things of 2011

2012-01-27T00:37:00.002+08:00

Hmm... something to kill time..

1. Church Camp in PD (Dec)

2. Had changed 3 diff buses because of 2 incidents on the way back from Church Camp

3. Managed to get someone to go Church Camp -Amen-

4. Broke up and got back into a relationship with the same guy

5. Fraser's Trip with the college bunch (April)

6. Met and made new friends that I wish to keep

7. Been to sick for at least once a month

8. Went for a medical check up at a hospital

9. Traveled to Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia for work

10. Organized at least 3 farewell parties for the colleagues

11. Managed the program by myself (without a head of program) for 5 months

12. Traveled alone to Hong Kong (in June)-first time

13. Presented a Gambling Research paper in HK-first time

14. BKK, Thailand (in May) with the girls

15. Langkawi (in July) with the karate mates

16. Malacca (in Feb)

17. Had a 20% increment (salary)

18. Bonus was good

19. Bowling with the colleagues

20. Attended Convo

21. Had a photography session with the family

22. Did invigilation for extra money

23. Earliest time to arrive the office: 7am

24. Latest time to leave office: 10.30pm

25. Helped out in a karate tournament

26. Started training karate again for 3 months

27. Had a sleepover with the girls during public holiday

28. Spent most of the public holidays climbing hills with the mom

29. Paid for facial packaged-cost more than a month's salary

30. Went to the Big Bad Wolf book fair twice

31. Spend a fortune in books

32. Make some mistake during dance performance in Christmas

33. Dentist_scaling

34. Attended 2 weddings

35. Wedding Organizer_Church member's wedding

36. Had a night out with the colleagues on a Monday nite

37. Family trip (camp style)_Benum Hill

38. Kent participated in the family trip

39. Co-organized the Faculty's Christmas party again

40. Had a scan appointment fixed for 2012

41. One day trip to Singapore (Dec)

42. Had an ice-cream (in SG) that Malaysia doesn't have

43. Purchased 2 items from Uniqlo from SG-Malaysia tak ada juga

44. Invested in insurance and investment plans

45. Paid for a movie but missed it intentionally

46. Fulfilled a promise of getting the Ipod Shuffle_even when it was sold out (in store)

47. Bought 2 baju kurung

48. Did part time-promoter over a weekend

49. Kelip-kelip in Kuala Selangor on my Birthday

50. Someone drove on the roads for more than 6 hours-Just so i can fulfill my wish list

ok la.. i think im done for now.. hehe ^^ alot more and i shall just keep them in my memories..

All Doll Up

2012-01-26T21:44:00.002+08:00

At Starbucks

Cashier: Can you give me your handphone number? (in Mandarin and he does not look Chinese at all.. and of course based on his sentence i deduce that he doesn't speak mandarin)

erm.. its a wonder to me how a lil makeup and dressing up can get you so much attention.. not tat im complaining hehe ^^

A lil song for u all:

P.S merajuk.ing at someone for ignoring me..

hmm.... ceh is not like he is ever going to read this also.. T.T

2011-12-22T00:32:00.000+08:00

Announcement: We are back together

Christmas ^^

2011-12-15T22:47:00.002+08:00

was so pissed with some human species called men tat i shouted "jangan sentuh saya".. LOL

the price to pay for accidentally touching my hair..

anyway Christmas Wish List 2011

- Hair Dryer (Aili, Sharon & Mandy)
- Body Shop's Rainforest Radiance Shampoo
- Body Shop's Rainforest Radiance Conditioner
- Body Shop's Rainforest Protecting Milk Spray
- New phone (deciding btw Samsung Galaxy and Iphone 4)
- More money
- Shoes (High Heels from URS)

Thats all from me.. cioassu..

2011-11-29T17:02:00.001+08:00

either way i am s.c.r.e.w.e.d.

why

2011-11-23T14:57:00.002+08:00

why is it that when i am most stress that i miss you the most..

why is it that when i am running for time that you will slip into my mind..

why is it that when i have decided to turn my back on you that you will appear in front of me..

all the whys in the world..

2011-11-20T23:11:00.002+08:00

it started with a movie.. should it end with a movie too? haha.. or maybe it had already ended even before the movie had started..

anyway i felt off the bike yet another time and also coz of the doggie pulling me and ran to the other side.. this time the bruises were bad.. T.T haiz so much for my weekend..

tomorrow have to reach office by 7.30am @.@ why am i so nice to ppl.. sob sob..

will be a long week... jia you..

2011-11-19T00:44:00.001+08:00

Been addicted to this..

2011-11-18T10:53:00.001+08:00

sometimes i really dont know myself...

2011-11-09T23:09:00.000+08:00

each time i try to let go i hold back..

this time i hope i can really do it..

2011-10-31T23:55:00.003+08:00

lately i dont dare to post/update my FB status.. dont want to get unwanted attention..

anyways, life been rather mundane or coz i was just preoccupied with some stuff.. now that the year is coming to an end.. i wonder how many of us really live today as it is our last day.. our last moment.. if u know tat you will die tomorrow wat will u do.. will u still live your life the same way?

and do you know where you will be going after you leave this world? i know.. do you? alot of times ppl dont bother or choose not to be bother by death.. but our time is limited.. our time here on earth is just like wind blowing pass us.. how fragile.. how weak.. are we living the life that is set for us? are we reaching our potential? erm.. something to wonder..

Meow Meow

2011-10-27T12:34:00.000+08:00

2011-10-16T18:59:00.000+08:00

tell me..

what am i to do..

2011-10-15T16:28:00.001+08:00

2011-10-11T11:20:00.002+08:00

I did not want to blog but i need something to clear off my mind..

ppl can really be immature even when they are the same age as me.. something went wrong then go running to their daddies.. daddies who think the other person who receive the email does not have any rights.. i am also my father's daughter ok..

kenapa.. setiap kali, hatiku bagai salju yang cair disinar mentari pagi..

so cute

2011-10-04T16:10:00.000+08:00

Boyfriend Criteria

2011-10-01T23:11:00.000+08:00

I think it is super cute.. LOL..

LOL

2011-09-29T10:27:00.000+08:00

Taken from Facebook

What are Words

2011-09-27T23:37:00.002+08:00

it have been awhile since i blogged.. so many things happening in the same time till i couldnt say it out anymore.. but at least i dont feel like im chocking but im just not sure what else can i do beside praying.. and yest i found out the power of prayer.. something totally unexpected happen.. =) im so thankful..

today another friend called me to talk about his problems.. i guess life is really full of pain and problems.. but maybe coz of this then we can realize how blessed we are when God brings us through the good the times as well as the bad times..

below is a song by Chris Medina "What are Words".. simply means what are words if we dont meant them.. how can we say we love when we dont do it.. how can we understand love when we are not even willing to sacrifice..

2011-09-22T23:15:00.002+08:00

i guess i now fully understand the feeling of being alone.. not lonely.. but alone..

it can be scary when ur so used to having someone around for anything..

and now u dont..

but we are humans afterall.. we will survive somehow..

no matter how painful life is.. we still must live on because only the living can feel pain..

human knowing that they will die one day will still try to live on..

when we love we risk being hurt,

when we accept we risk being rejected,

when we try we risk making mistake,

but

the greatest hazard in life is not to risk at all..

on a side note.. i lost 3 kgs in a month T.T not good not good..

2011-09-20T23:15:00.002+08:00

life is too short to have regrets.. just 3 weeks ago we were seeing him giving his testimony and asking the brothers in church to appreciate their wife and love them before is too late.. and now it seems that the Lord wants to take him away.. life can really be so unpredictable..

sometimes we don't know.. or rather take things for granted until we loses it.. until we loses those that is the most important to us..

lets talk about something lighter k?

Castle: u really shopaholic la u..

Me: yeah lo.. you help me find a rich guy la k..that will pay for my expenses..

Castle: Me la..

Me: T.T u rich meh? u will spend all your money on food wan.. later i eat wat? cucumber is it?

LOL XD my new colleague is superb cute la.. eats like a cow.. actually more like a black hole that suck away all the food once it is consumed.. and is helpful around the office and never say no to us asking for help.. =) n join us in our octopus dance.. LOL..

2011-09-20T09:31:00.001+08:00

thought of posting something funny..

but so no mood..

tomorrow is the day..

if got enough time then i might just take a train ride to somewhere..

life is so unpredictable..

2011-09-17T23:28:00.000+08:00

today have to work whole day.. tired leh..

dont know why starting from 12 something the stomach isnt feeling well.. so sad.. it just cramp like nuts..

maybe i should have it check next week.. or soonish..

but im scared T.T

2011-09-16T12:08:00.000+08:00

Jin Heon: People, even knowing that they will die, still try to live.

Cited from My Lovely Kim Sam Soon

2011-09-15T23:19:00.002+08:00

tomorrow is the day..

for closure..

no matter wat happen i pray that God will never forsake u nor me..

and gives us strengths to walk through the journey of life..

i thanked the Lord for all that has happened and what He has installed for us in the future..

A man set his course but the Lord determines his steps..

2011-09-13T09:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes love isnt all firework..

Love can come slowly..

2011-09-12T08:44:00.001+08:00

when u unknowingly creep into my life and refuses to let me go..

and now after forcing u go away..

i wonder whether i will look back..

2011-09-12T00:08:00.003+08:00

i watched drama literally the whole day.. non-stop..

but now tat i stop and had to go back to reality..

i dont know why my tears roll down by itself.. like a fire hydrant that burst open.. couldnt be persuaded.. couldnt stop..

i should stop missing u.. stop caring about u.. stop thinking bout u.. enough is enough..

i cannot be so selfish anymore.. i can be strong.. i must..

我知道我想要的..

不可以后悔..

2011-09-06T21:27:00.001+08:00

2011-09-04T00:29:00.002+08:00

now i understand how the other person feels.. now i know why am i going through this.. if there is something good that is coming out of this then it is to empathize how the other person feels..

now i know how painful it is to see the person you love getting injured and bumping their heads.. how it feels when the person u love deny the things you believe in.. when the person u love say things that hurt you but u know that they dont really mean it.. when the person u love decide to walk away and leave you.. when they decide that they want to live life the way they want to.. when the person u love thinks that your trying to control them by trying to help..

that feelings kill you.. not the sharp and direct pain.. but slowly.. like your heart is cracking bit by bit.. and all u can do is just watch the person u love from afar.. hoping and praying that they will understand how much u love them.. hoping that they can see and finally find their way.. even when your heart will break into pieces before they realize it..

maybe they dont.. but we still wish nothing but the best for them..

Dear Lord pls listen to our tears and heart beat..

Song on Radio

2011-09-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

2011-09-02T11:31:00.002+08:00

so many things happening in a week..

from being a teacher/hopefully be a good guide one day..

to being a baby sitter..

to wonder whether things will turn up to be better.. now all we see is the gray skies and that thunderstorm is rolling in soon.. we can only pray that the rainbow will appear after we brave through the storm..

a lot of times we pray that God will take away the thunderstorm so that we do not have to deal with it.. but now i realize that the thunderstorm wont go away but we certainly can pray that God will give us enough strength and courage to last through the storm..

when i thought im alone God will remind me that he is with me.. i have not felt so hopeless for such a long time.. so useless and hopeless.. but let my hope hang on the Lord for He will not forsake us.. i guess if i were to take the path of being a Clinical Psychologist then there will be more moments of this.. i just have to learn to be stronger each time and lean on God's wisdom.. let God be my pillar of strength and source of wisdom..

this is the time where i always have a dilemma.. if im single then im not burdening the other person with my problems/baggage.. but it would be nice to have someone whom u can turn to for just a warm and consoling touch.. oh well.. we just have to make do with wat we have..

JIa You..

one more moment

2011-08-31T23:06:00.002+08:00

how many years.. days.. hours.. minutes.. seconds.. are we allowed to love someone..

wat happens when suddenly tat person is no longer there..

the familiar face that you woke up to see every morning..

the familiar scent that keeps you secure..

the familiar touch that keeps your warm..

the familiar voice that keeps you happy..

the familiar hard-to-die habit that annoys you to the max...

the familiar look at his face whenever he sees you..

im praying hard that he gets to live to love his wife more.. pray that he can once again feel her love for him.. i pray tat God is giving him one more chance.. one more chance to appreciate his wife.. one more day to love her.. one more day to play with his son.. just one more moment.. Amen..

2011-08-24T23:47:00.001+08:00

People try very hard to convince themselves that the person is the one.. But im trying hard to convince myself that your not the one...

random

2011-08-23T09:10:00.002+08:00

Randomness starts again...

being single isnt good for the pocket/wallet.. -___- too much free time to spare and too many temptation in the shopping mall...

yest had a weird man who isnt stable (emotionally/cognitively) in the office.. superb hard to get him to go away.. -____- and the colleagues were like "wat if he takes out a knife to stab u.. dont talk to him so long.. " but how to ask ppl to go away without being rude..

i was soaked with rain water coz went out to buy Subway for lunch.. T.T

i gotten myself 2 pairs of baju kurung and one long skinny jeans + a short black pants.. all over a weekend ONLY.. we shall not count wat i bought the previous weekends..

i want my backdated salary.. where is the boss.. $.$

about the weird man.. i will have to deal with ppl like him and most probably worse for the rest of my life if im going to go on with Clinical Psychology.. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..............

ooh i think Chatime's Mango Smoothie with aloe vera is nice.. i want to try more of their stuff.. awww...

lil tofu signing off

love

2011-08-21T09:08:00.002+08:00

today i have to teach sunday school and guess what's the topic of the day?

LOVE

it is about the Fruits of the Spirit which has 9 fruits: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control.. and Love brings upon the others..

and im teaching the first one.. LOVE.. -___- irony.. irony..

do i even know wat is love? we shall we see wat God has to tell me this time.. (everytime i teach the kids i will also get inspired.. )

2011-08-20T11:10:00.004+08:00

if u cant get over it then u just have to live with it.. (cited, 2011)..

i agree with the above statement.. i have learned to live with certain things in my past coz i realize i cant let it go.. or rather the memories are still there to remind me of certain things that i need to do.. i have been living with those things till now.. i understand fully the consequences of living with certain things..

i guess this is one of those things that i just have to learn to live with..

2011-08-19T13:09:00.000+08:00

Shocking Surprise

2011-08-19T09:37:00.003+08:00

today i found out something shocking.. for 24 years of my life.. i didnt know that my Father actually accepted Christ before he married my mom O.o wat the.. all this while i thought my father has no knowledge or what-so-ever about Christianity or God..

no wonder la my parents can get married in church.. father is the case where after marriage everything else fall apart.. i will go "toast" him when we had a chance to talk..

anyway, i do not wish something like this to happen for me or my children.. so i guess i just have to be strong with my decision and let God decide.. "A man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps".. Jia you!

i asked my mom how do you whether this person is the one.. whether your right or wrong.. and she just confirmed my own answer.. the answer that i know all along.. but right now.. right now i guess the choice is not for me to decide..

the sky was gloomy yest with only one star shinning far far away..

2011-08-18T13:17:00.001+08:00

what do i want from him?

erm.. tats a very good question..

i had a dream but it was just a dream..

oh well..

Self Reflection

2011-08-14T23:12:00.003+08:00

im lazy to go work tomorrow.. argh >< tomorrow got a meeting/discussion with the clinical lecturers.. haiz.. two weeks to complete alot of stuff..

as the big boss suggested that we do self-reflection every six months.. he has been doing tat since his college days and now his wife also do tat @.@ now wonder he is always so focus..

anyway i think is time for me to do tat as well.. i have been wanting to do tat since few months ago.. and this kinda of reflection is not an hour or two thing.. it is a whole day.. shortest is also half a day.. i took a trip down to Seremban the other time.. i want a park/garden kinda of thing this time.. i thought of Bukit Tinggi but i cant access it by public transport right? erm.. where else should i go? any suggestion?

Self Reflection

Imagine your the Captain of a ship (olden time kinda of ship) and the night before you were in a big rough storm.. so what would you do the next morning?

Check the damages (alike us checking how our life has been for the past months)
Check our position/coordinate (see where are we now in life.. are we lost.. have we detoured?)
Check whether we are still heading to our destination (has our goals change or they are still the same.. any additional goals/dreams?)
Check whether we have enough resources to move on.. (do we have things we needed to move towards our goal/destination)

I also like to do this kinda of reflection.. but usually is once a year or after certain change in the stages of life.. erm.. life.. "A man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps" how true is this statement..

Lil Tofu signing off..

Saturday Girls Day out

2011-08-14T01:25:00.004+08:00

i really shouldnt be wearing heels after karate.. LOL.. now my feet got blisters already.. anyway this morning had to work till 2 for the college's open day..

then went out with girls to The Curve for late lunch (IKEA's meatball) and had dinner (Tony Roma)... saw a pair of skinny jeans that i quite like but the girls didnt want to get it.. buy one is RM 70 but buy two is RM 90.. of course i want to get someone else to buy it with me la.. =p

and i left my phone in Sharon's car.. she was so nice that she drove back to pass it to me.. huhuhu thank you so so much.. and i know my handphone spooked u and mandy when i called my own number.. GOMENASAI...

Anyways let some pics do the talking.. so long didnt have the bonding time..

Everyone prefers my long hair compare to now.. erm.. but i quite like my dressing style lately.. we shall see how..

2011-08-11T23:29:00.002+08:00

today we had a Stress Management seminar by Dr. Goh and i learnt some new stuff tat we didnt get to learn during our undergrad days..

anyway, i dont understand why boys like to play with car models or wat models.. T.T my bro get frustrated for not able to make the car move.. and so i have to help.. and now im @.@ how la how.. i would prefer if he stay at playing chess only.. pening kepala..

Journey Home

2011-08-10T22:41:00.002+08:00

Today i had to stand for an hour in the bus to get home.. as my left shoulder is already bruised, trying to balance myself while sleeping is hurtful.. i kept banging my shoulder against the window.. anyway, im pretty impressed with my sleeping abilities.. stand and sleep but didnt even fall down.. i cant control my sleep.. haiz >.<

today's journey remind me of the time when i first moved to puchong and had to take the bus home from work.. i remembered how you accompany me few times in a week for the first two weeks until i got use to going home by myself.. you willingly teman me without me asking and walked up the hill without complaining as well.. =)

thank you.. this is probably the only thing i can say..

i should go sleep now.. think im getting the fever bug..

been coughing on off for few days already.. sien

2011-08-10T13:18:00.000+08:00

A contradictory..

Reason I shouldn't be sleeping in Bus

2011-08-08T20:15:00.002+08:00

now i know why i shouldnt be sleeping in the bus too often.. i sat beside a creepy man today.. i was reading a magazine and he kept looking my way.. i thought he was reading la but then u know how when we read ppl's book/newspaper/mag we tend to just look from the corner of our eyes.. he is like literary staring at me.. like lean forward and turn to stare at me.. and he did it like for more than 10 times over the course of 1 hour 10 minutes (the journey till he left the bus).. and he kept shaking his right leg and it will touch my leg (in which i was very pissed).. when i couldnt tahan anymore, i gave him the "u want to die is it" look and he stopped looking at me..

haiz T.T but as he was walking to the door to get down the bus, i saw tat he was wearing socks with holes swt -___-" and i said a lil prayer for him.. and the anger subside.. maybe he is just a weird 40-year-old uncle... or maybe i just look weird la k..

it can be quite depressing having to take public transport for 4 years in college.. then when i work i am also taking public transport (it had been more than a year already).. and i think i will still be taking it for another good 5 years till i can afford a car.. but i shouldnt complain coz at least i got ppl sending me home once in awhile last time.. and i had the luxury of being picked up from work as well.. i just have to have a brave front to face weird/hamsap/smelly ppl in the bus..

cioassu.. lil tofu signing off...

Shopping

2011-08-07T21:53:00.002+08:00

yest i went abit crazy with shopping and now the wallet it hurting.. ouch.. went out with Mandy Kok and Sharon Kong and spend quite some money.. T.T LOL

and training on Friday is Awesome.. my legs are still hurting and im walking like a penguin.. @.@ i realize that i kept blocking with both hands when they punch/kick my face.. swt -___- never had that issue before this.. now i have to relearn my reflexes.. malunya..

anyhow.. i realize i kept finding things to do or read or watever just to distract and occupy my time.. im trying my very superb best not to contact him already but i guess one of these days when im drunk or hit my head i might just press the button (i hope he isnt reading.. he might not remember my blog.. hopefully).. in which Anujah supposed to slap me out of it.. haiz..

will power.. where are u?.. ego.. where are u?.. dont abandon me at such time..

there is one more thing that needs to be done.. once its over then hopefully my brain and heart wont be at such dissonance..

2011-08-05T16:27:00.003+08:00

For you..

Jia you

i dont want weekend to come = (

2011-08-05T15:01:00.000+08:00

The Journey

2011-08-04T14:58:00.002+08:00

Friend: why did you got onto the plane without him?

Me: Coz he doesnt want to buy the ticket.. there isnt a free flight in this world..

Friend: even AirAsia has zero airfare.. only have to pay for taxes..

Me: but wat if the person doesnt even want to pay for it?

Friend: sure will want it wan.. nevermind la i introduce you other guys.. already 2 cycles right? (referring to my age)

Me: T.T swt

Anyway.. Erm.. sometimes is not about whether the person is willing to sacrifice to pay for the flight or not.. it is just that we are heading towards different direction.. walking a different pathway.. if its different then how can we board the same flight?

anyway.. all of a sudden the department is bombarded with a lot of issues that need to be settled.. sien.. T.T

i want to go study already.. huhuhu -___-

2011-08-03T11:06:00.001+08:00

i am going to just write the stuff in The Book..

im a lil jealous..

2011-08-02T22:35:00.002+08:00

why it is so hard.. when all u do is just the right thing..

the scar on the hand will always remind me of the memories that i cant help but remember..

im trying very hard already.. but why is this time harder.. so much harder than any other time.. why is it so hard to leave.. this isnt the first time i have to leave when the times come..

i feel suffocated.. with my own emotions and longing..

wat should i do when the "Spirit is willing but the body is weak"..

i thought i can be compose and calm.. but

Jah: what did you lose again?

Me: my heart.. i dropped it somewhere..

i cannot control myself anymore.. my pride and ego had been thrown out of the window already.. anujah said that to keep my pride up and dont call you.. i cannot help it..

i think this is the best i can do.. keeping my distances and staying away.. maybe after time have passed then it will be better.. for both you and me.. after a few months then it will be better.. it should be right? right..

Choices

2011-08-02T10:43:00.002+08:00

i realize that when your with someone for a certain period of time you have to choose whether your still with the person because you cant live without the person or because you CHOOSE to continue the relationship with the person... being in a relationship should come from free choice and not force on coz of dependent... you choose to be with the person and not coz you cant live without the person..

and so when you choose to continue with the person you also will have to choose to accept everything of the person.. be it he or her friends or family or pets.. or mostly importantly to me is God.. aspects that are most important to me is ME, FAMILY & GOD.. is like a 3-in-1 coffee.. cannot be separated.. either you drink it or u dont.. cant tear it apart coz it makes up of who i am..

all i can do is just write, blog, draws to keep me from going crazy.. i should stop crying in the office already.. i really dont want to be asked to go into the bosses' office due to my emotional breakdowns.. funny right? haiz (>.<) life as we call it..

For you

2011-07-31T23:06:00.001+08:00

For you..

Friday nite out

2011-07-30T14:23:00.003+08:00

yesterday nite... went out drinking with Jah and Boon Ching.. the Top Shelf Margarita (Strawberry Mango) is abit too sweet for my taste.. still prefer the Presindente Margarita (sourish).. but yest punya Presindente isnt as nice as Wed (dinner with Aili).. ooh the reason im writing it here and not FB is coz my Sensei is on my FB list.. LOL.. if he knows i skip karate to go out drinking he will kill me the next class.. hahaha.. i also had a beer (something called Snake Bite) at The George and Dragon (in Bangsar Shopping Center) which i like.. i had never like the other beers brand tat we have here... but this is nice.. strongbow..

anyways, just gotten my increment yesterday.. hmm.. is not too bad but not great either.. erm.. i dont know la.. ish ish.. so many changes in such a short period of time.. so much work.. not much support coz i should be the one to know best.. ish ish..

wat to do.. life..

hehe.. pray harder.. =)

2011-07-29T16:14:00.002+08:00

-its all over-

-when we let God decide-

-we can only leap with Faith-

The Story and The Decision

2011-07-27T09:35:00.002+08:00

let me start with a story...

Genesis 22

Abraham Tested

¹ Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!”

“Here I am,” he replied.

² Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”

³ Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. ⁴ On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. ⁵ He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.”

⁶ Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, ⁷ Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?”

“Yes, my son?” Abraham replied.

“The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?”

⁸ Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.

⁹ When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. ¹⁰ Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. ¹¹ But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”

“Here I am,” he replied.

¹² “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

¹³ Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram^[a] caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. ¹⁴ So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.”

Abraham is called the Father of Faith because of his faith and obedience for God.. he had walked 3 days to get to the place that God had wanted him to go and yet he had never turned back.. he might have doubts.. whether God really want him to sacrifice his son.. whether he heard wrongly but all this while he just kept going..

I am no Abraham and You are not Issac as well.. but this is the road that i must keep going.. whether you walked with me or not.. whether you decide to give this path a try or not.. i must go on.. even if i were to go alone.. everyone has the right to make choices and decide wat is best for them at the very moment the decision is made.. there isnt right or wrong.. neither is there regret nor guilt..

but still somehow i feel selfish for making you fall in love with me.. and now forcing you to decide.. but i believe is better to have this talk than later....

i wont say im sorry because then that will undermine the love that you have given me.. but Thank You for everything that you have shared with me.. your time.. your moments.. your life.. and your love.. i remember all of them dearly..

No matter wat you choose.. or what you have decided.. i just want you to know that i understand..

With upmost love,
Lil Tofu

2011-07-21T08:34:00.002+08:00

why is it so hard to stay wat i really want to say.. why cant i be more honest with my own feelings..

maybe i should just be myself and settle my own baggages..

i really suck dont i.. sucks big time..

My Friday

2011-06-18T10:03:00.002+08:00

yesterday was an emotional turmoil.. my emotions and thoughts were like a roller coaster that was not coming to an end.. too many thoughts.. too many feelings.. i already cant separate wat it is and wat it isnt..

when you always place ppl first and care for them, they tend to fix that image of you in their mind.. it become a template of you.. might not be who you really are but that is you to them.. and so when the you would like to be different or try to be nice to herself/himself, ppl will tend to react negatively as it isnt the template they have of you.. sometimes, it is so hard to differentiate the border between selfish and caring for self.. maybe is just me who has a twisted way about loving the world..

and so i ended the day by being barked and chased (just abit) by 3 dogs and fell and scratch myself.. THANK GOD they didnt bite me when i fell.. all of a sudden they just back away and continue to bark.. anyway i managed to get to the main road and walked to safety..

i realize it is always easier to cry for physical pain then psychological pain.. hohoho.. no wonder ppl pay so much just to have someone hear their crap.. as much as i want to be tat person to hear the stuff.. i have a very long way to go..

ciaossu..

2011-05-06T10:04:00.001+08:00

Sad Hindi Song

I will love you for you.. So please love me for me as well..

My Weekend

2011-04-27T23:11:00.004+08:00

Erm it seems that everyone.. well almost everyone had also blog about our lil gateway to Frasers Hill last weekend.. so i guess i will follow suit.. =p

At first i wasnt keen on going last weekend coz it was near to the end of month and i was kinda sorta broke.. this April is like a leach sucking up my blood.. first it was taking the family portrait then it was convo.. then my sis birthday.. and erm.. the flight to Hong Kong plus the conference fees.. phew..

anyway i ended up promising Mikey and so i went.. and managed to get the bf to tag along (i cant believe he only found out that his competition got postponed 2 days before the supposedly competition date -___- he really can be blur wan..)

Frasers was stressful at first because we were leading the group up with just the google map and my memory plus road signs.. Thank God that Malaysia's signboards works (outside of KL i mean).. But once we confirmed we were on the right track i was quite delightful.. hehe =)

Ah it was really fun getting to hang out with the friends again and away from the buzz and smokes of the city..and certainly the good food (hehe special thanks to Pek Wah and Min Huei who were passionately serving us with food.. ooh and aili too).. not to forget Mikey who had made this trip a reality, who push for it even when it was at such a late notice.. i agreed with aili when she wrote on her blog that we seem different.. our topic seem different from 2 years ago-our first trip to Frasers.. and this trip was only 2 days 1 night.. i would prefer if we could spend more time together and not rush.. and i still want to walk the jungle trails that Frasers have >.<

there are so many things that i have been keeping to myself and couldnt find the place/words to express them.. maybe just maybe.. blogging again might help..this will be for another post..

anyway back to the weekend.. on the way home, we (me, mandy & my designated driver aka coughbfcough) dropped by Snowflakes at Kuchai Lama.. i dont know wat happened to me.. after i got down and as i was closing the car door, i hit the door towards/to/on my forehead and it hit just above my left eye leaving me with a lump.. Mandy and Kent were so shocked as i was laughing and crying at the same time.. anyway to end my day on a meaningful note, i slipped as i was walking back to the bathroom to wash my comb.. and i landed well on my gluteus maximus (butt) and my elbows..

Thats all for my weekend..

See yah all soon.. *hopefully very soon*

Lil Gal signing off feeling hungry again =/

Half

2011-03-25T12:12:00.002+08:00

Year 2010

2011-01-07T09:01:00.002+08:00

I realize i wrote my new year post last year on the 7th of January 2010.. LOL.. i did not plan this..

anyway RECAP of Year 2010:

Spiritual life: i hope i am doing well =)
Love: erm i think since i started working i did not have time to spend with friends
i hope i am more patient now.. keeping things inside is quite a task
i graduated with a second upper (yeah)
started working in a very busy profession
save some money but still learning about investment
i guess im lil bit more honest and expressive already
i hope i am appreaciating my family and friends enough but i really need to manage my work life, family life and social life well
Humble: er.. not too sure..

How about the year of 2011?

-im abit busy with work.. maybe i will it some other time-

Ciaossu..

Merry Christmas

2010-12-27T08:28:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone ^^

HOME

2010-12-20T17:21:00.002+08:00

It had been close to two weeks already... I guess house is just a building.. A home is always where the heart is.. And although going back to the house is a tiring journey but going home is always the best thing one could ask for.. every time when i walked up hill even when its in the rain i just want to reach home faster.. i tell myself never to give up.. just walk even when there are scary dogs even when the legs hurt.. just keep walking...

i guess this is how life is.. God will always give us enough grace to endure life's storms..

And im glad your beside me.. thanks..

Lil Gal signing off yet again ^^

Happy Birthday to You

2010-11-30T22:34:00.004+08:00

From Saisaki and Muji on Sunday night

To homemade Bento and a short trip to Genting on Monday..
I guess your favorite moment was sitting in Starbucks drinking coffee..
Happy Belated Birthday Dear
Hope you like the "surprises" and enjoyed yourself these two days..

Sometimes your like this

Some other time your like this

And yet some other time your like this

Thank you for giving me the chance of knowing you

p.s Thanks to Boon Ching, Sharon Kong, Sis and his friends that came tat nite

2010-11-26T11:13:00.002+08:00

im emo.ing

my boss's plant is dying in my care

i havent been eating proper meals

i dont care.. i want to eat McD later T.T even if its 3 times more expensive than what i usually eat..

Cant smile without you

2010-11-18T15:57:00.001+08:00

Heard this song on tv the other day.. =)

Life as it is

2010-11-15T21:21:00.002+08:00

twice over the span of three days..

i guess (after a long slow conversation) is time to move to another stage..

a new way of communicating.. more honest.. more open..

less pretentious.. less trying to please one another..

never hold a serious conversation right after gulping down cough & flu medicine.. coz they not only make you drowsy/sleepy.. it also slows ur brain down..

but oh well.. all seem good..

flu still hanging around like a good friend.. cough is getting into my nerve.. the weather aint helping..

tats all.. cioassu

2010-11-12T21:37:00.002+08:00

dont know since when i became greedy..

dont know since when i allow the inner female to take over..

dont know since when i became so irrational that i cant even understand it myself..

anyway has been sick since tuesday.. still is sick now.. flu & cough please go over.. fever had run away already.. sorethroat seem to want to come back.. T.T

faster be well.. next week is a long long week with lotsa things to do..

btw should i submit my paper for a gambling conference in Hong Kong? @.@

feel like slapping myself few times just to wake up and be rational.. actually i did slap myself but why am i still like tat..

2010-10-31T15:00:00.001+08:00

Thanks to CF who came and teman me makan sushi..

Thanks to CF again for the home cooked lunch.. ^^

Friends and Food

2010-10-27T10:37:00.002+08:00

Yesterday i was thinking about what are the food my friends like or dont like to eat..

But I only remember some of it..

Mandy: Dislike- Bak Kut Teh/ Pork.. Like: Avocado Salad, Tiramisu (actually is basically anything that coughJaredcough had cooked for her before)

Aili: Banana

Sharon: Fish.. Likes: Sushi, Expensive Fish

Kevin Saw: Pork.. Likes: cant remember

Michael: Likes Strawberry Cake

Benjamin: Dislike: Cheese, Sesame

I used to remember much more.. haiz T.T

2010-10-16T09:40:00.002+08:00

Pick-up line

Scene: Walking pass a row of shops

Men in the shop: Come in and have a look la.. we give u 10% discount.. we got brown, black and white.. come la come la..

The shop: A place that sells coffins..

T.T in what way does those men thinks ppl would want to walk in to the shop and buy coffins? Maybe my friend should answer them "Do you have one that is purple with white polka dots?"

-Joke of the day-

2010-10-07T20:49:00.002+08:00

It is not worth to cry over a guy
But when you find one who is worth to cry for
He will never make you cry

(Anujah P., 2010)

2010-10-03T18:31:00.001+08:00

i just break record the second day.. went home at 3am on Sat morning and reach office by 7am again..

2010-10-01T01:30:00.000+08:00

gosh.. my record of working in the office..

11.30pm..

woohoo...

2010-09-15T22:54:00.001+08:00

the rainbow after the rain..

the sunset after the storm..

how mesmerizing..

2010-09-14T22:28:00.001+08:00

i guess just one moment.. one short moment.. it made me realize something..

what should i do..

2010-09-10T22:26:00.002+08:00

working make me realize tat sometimes ppl arent so nice..

they might seem very professional in handling stuff and all but it makes u wonder whether is tat all?

does getting angry and upset solve the issue at hand? i certainly dont believe so..

oh well..

and i just had my first lesson in business dealings.. not bad after all..

i guess living is all about making mistake and learning from it.. to stand back up from the place we fall and not run away from it..

^^ Selamat Hari Raya.. Maaf zahir batin..

2010-08-30T21:17:00.002+08:00

the other day i was on the bus and it was buka puasa time..

an old couple behind me was ber.buka.ing wit the small kuih muih..

then the old grandpa walk to the front of the bus and gave the driver a can of drink..

=)

Betapa bertuahnya kita apabila kita dapat memberi walaupun dengan segala yang kita ada..

2010-08-24T22:55:00.003+08:00

Sudden inspiration.. thanks to chatting wit mandy kok..

i believe there is a different with needing someone and wanting someone..

to me need is like things you cant live without.. example is air, water, food and shelter..

want is something more than that.. is a choice made..

i guess i had chosen you?

erm... oh well God might have just thrown u down as i have wished for every birthday..

i just wish im not tat invisible to u sometimes.. T.T

2010-08-23T00:00:00.002+08:00

today's happening will become the memory of tomorrow..

thank you girls for today.. =)

time to prettify the self..

brightening eye cream
colored contact lens (mandy bila nak beli ni?)
hair products
dont be so lazy to makeup
sleep early
drink more water
exercise? =p

im currently addicted to the song by Wang Lee Hom "The Things That You Dont Know"

Random

2010-08-20T20:11:00.002+08:00

how i wish i would know wat future lies ahead of me..

but life is always like tat..

"In his heart, men plan his course but God determine his steps"

8 years seem like a blink of an eye..

then another 5/6 years shouldnt really matter right?

i think too much again.. so many things to do at work but not enough time to complete.. will have to go early or stay back to finish it dah.. =/

2010-08-16T13:19:00.001+08:00

You Are Pie

You are sweet, but there's more to the story than that. You're quite complicated.

Sometimes people don't appreciate you as much as they should. You are really quite special.

You are deep, thoughtful, and get better with time. You are subtle but powerful.

You are very traditional, and that's a good thing. You remind people of simpler and happier times.

Are You Cake or Pie?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

Hey I like this.. I am sweet and Im quite SPECIAL.. hehe ^.^

The things you dont know

2010-08-16T01:29:00.001+08:00

2010-08-15T00:18:00.002+08:00

i guess i just want to be notice once in awhile..

although i dont mind alot of things..

doesnt mean im invisible..

i guess im just weird..

since ppl always say im weird anyway..

2010-08-13T09:43:00.002+08:00

i told him everything

i just hope he understands

honesty can make or break something

2010-08-11T22:51:00.002+08:00

In the train:

Mat Salleh (sitting beside me): So how are u today?

Me: o.O oh ok.. just abit busy..

etc etc..

Mat salleh handed me his name card.. asked whether we would have a chance to meet again.. say his contact is printed on the name card (like i cant see)..

Me: we shall see.. (give a big polite smile)

@.@ -so many encountering of such ppl-

Today

2010-08-09T23:32:00.002+08:00

today had a very funny encounter..

two guys from the printer shop tat printed our brochure for ARUPS came to deliver the orders..

and so they had the receipts tat need to be signed and chopped..

i was looking at those papers and asking them what is what..

A: do you have a name card?

Me: oh no not yet coz still havent got the time to make.. (still staring at papers)

B: whats your name?

Me: huh?

A: whats your phone number

B: you sure got facebook right

A: what about giving us your msn

Me: @.@ (all i did was hah, hah and hah?)

Ren: ok guys.. the posters is ok.. now u can go already.. anything i can still do for you..

-conversation ended-

funny ppl la..

2010-08-08T14:20:00.002+08:00

The answer to the question:

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, Whether well fed or hungry, whether living on plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength

Philippians 4: 10-13

Conversation

2010-08-07T10:15:00.003+08:00

i just had a very interesting conversation with someone who used to study in HELP.

erm.. i wonder why ppl say im naive just because i seem to be positive about certain things or coz i see things differently.. does having a comfortable life means having a "standard size house", two cars, can afford luxurious things in life?

i understand money is a necessity in life.. but it is not necessary to give us a full living life.. although having more money means getting some things that you want (not necessary need), having the means to travel, buying things that will get outdated as soon as you reach the cashier.. erm i still thinks.. i hope i will continue to believe that we shouldnt be the slave to money.. i still have my worries about financial stability.. this and that.. but there is more to living than just that..

if naive is what they called it.. if being mature means seeing that money is everything or that everything in the world is bad then i choose not to follow suit.. i rather be a child in this believe but yet handle life like an adult..God had said that we should have child-like believe and grow spiritually in the same time..

erm interesting how ppl often see things so differently from one another.. then i wonder how does ppl who are so different actually life together...

life is a mystery aint it?

2010-08-03T18:48:00.002+08:00

today i was so sick that i have to take a half day leave.. T.T

the journey home was abit tiring too but was ok coz at least i got to ~~sleep~~ sit in the bus and train..

*cries*

Life when your not around..

2010-08-02T10:52:00.002+08:00

As much as i try not to go crazy..

I went to color my hair on sunday again after the failed attempt on saturday (its free anyway).. btw my hair is permed.. hohoho..
i woke up at 6 ish to go jogging wit anujah in titiwangsa this MORNING..
i plan to continue my exercise regime everyday
the only day i dont teach tuition at nite this week is Thursday

Conversation:

Friend A: so hows kent?

Me: erm .. dunno.. he only left an offline gmail msg saying that he cut his hair..

Friend B: for what.. expensive right..

Me: err.. dunno.. he like la..

Friend C: probably there is alot of hot/handsome Japanese men there..

Me: hah.. but the men there is skinny and lala and not nice looking.. only the girls are..

Friend C: is either the men there is too hot that he had to do something about his hair or the girls are and he wants to change his image.. which option do u want?

Friend A: yeah thanks for making her feel secure..

Friend C: she is SECURE.. tats y.. if its me and she was the one telling me about this i would be on the next flight to Japan..

Me: yeah i am secure..

Friend A: u sure? O.o

Me: if because of such small thing and he swayed then at least i know earlier that he isnt worth more of my time..

My friends are funny =)

2010-07-31T09:22:00.002+08:00

Today i woke up at 7 to go jogging..

Today i will do something to the hair again..

Today is a new day

^^

and today i still miss you just as much

2010-07-25T00:12:00.001+08:00

sick..

2010-07-24T11:53:00.002+08:00

This and next weekend is the only weekend that i will be free of work.. after that will be busy till like early Oct?.. -____- who say office work is relaxing and 9-5..

anyway i will continue to do my best.. jia you.. yeah ^^

work

2010-07-23T23:01:00.002+08:00

yesterday coz of me tak sempat finish work by 5.30 so me and jah was stucked in jam.. it was so jam that i actually got down the car and beli kerepok and her car didnt even move abit! T.T

i told myself tat i will make it a principle tat i will leave work at 5.45.. leave the office by 5.45.. looks like it wont happen.. argh ><

anyway life at work can be quite fun.. stress not so.. but the ppl are enjoyable.. =)

i miss you ^^

2010-07-21T17:43:00.002+08:00

I finally got my own table and desktop! =)

thats the ONLY happy update i have..

T.T i dont understand why am i so busy.. =/

2010-07-20T09:22:00.002+08:00

What Would Happen If We Were Together

Ivy

She would work hard for "us" and would work harder to make me become a better person. I would probably get some work done and eventually achieve what I am capable of achieving. But in the end she would leave and I would allow her to leave as I would have understood that there are others who need her more than I do (Goh, 2010)

Please refer to this link for more info or refer to Chun Feng Goh's link at the side..

Anyway im just pondering on the line where CF wrote about leaving.. erm i remember some time ago i wrote something familiar.. about the 3 types of people you'll meet in life.. not everyone you met in life would stay by ur side till the end.. some would leave when the time comes..

erm i always have been those who leave once i done my part.. in the previous post i asked will i ever be asked to stay and even so will i want to stay.. erm such is life.. nothing is permament.. only God is..

erm..

on another note i guess 2 weeks of mental preparation isnt enough..

Lil Gal signing off..
-i actually splash curry on my shirt yest while eating lunch ^^-
-when will i be less careless? T.T-